“Chirp,” the seventh episode of the season, received about 12.2 million viewers when it aired on November 3, 2010. Following the success of the Halloween episode, “Chirp” has had the third most viewers of the season.
So, Phil is trying to figure out which of the smoke detectors is chirping. Claire wakes up with a cold so Phil tells her that he will do her chores for the day. She asks him about his showings that day, but Phil tells her that they fell through but it was no big deal. Dylan comes over and Phil tells him not to get close to his wife, which Dylan misinterprets and confesses a dream he had about Claire. Another scene before the opening credits: Cam sets Lily up for a children’s commercial audition, but Mitch doesn’t agree to it. You’ll need to know that later.
As it turns out, Haley has a cold, too, so she bunks in with her mom for the day. While they watch soap operas, Claire talks to her daughter about a character in the show whose life was ruined by marrying the first guy she ever liked, hinting that the character and Haley are alike in personality. However, Haley thinks Claire is talking about her marriage. Claire tells Haley that there are other boys out there like… the pizza boy, and Haley still thinks she’s talking about herself. Outside the bedroom, Phil tries to find the source of the chirping and does some of Claire’s chores while his clients cancel their meetings with him and effeminizing things keep happening to him (like breaking a nail, wearing an apron, etc.). Phil’s fuse eventually runs short so he barges in on Claire and Haley and goes on a rampage (with a cheerleading baton) to destroy all the smoke detectors. Haley tells her mom to go after him and that he is way better than some delivery boy. She doesn’t have time to explain that that’s not what she was talking about before she goes to stop Phil, so Haley never gets the memo from her mom. Claire gives Phil a pep-talk and Phil eventually realizes, thanks to Luke (who’s been wearing a space helmet all day to avoid getting sick), that the old detectors in the attic are the culprits. So he cheers up, and makes Haley think she helped her parents marriage.
Meanwhile, Gloria and Manny visit Jay at work. Gloria tells Jay about their date she has planned (that he has no idea about) when Manny crashes through the wall with a forklift. Manny feels guilty about getting Jack, Jay’s employee that let him drive the forklift, fired; he calls a lawyer, Mitch, to file a suit against Jay. Mitch doesn’t take the case, and leaves when Gloria reveals that Cam has Lily at the commercial shoot. Since Mitch didn’t take the case, Manny gives Jay the silent treatment instead. Jay isn’t affected by the silent treatment and thinks he’s figured out where he’s supposed to meet Gloria for their date. Jay tells Manny that anyone who puts his kid in danger will not be hired back. Manny realizes that Jay thinks of him as his own child and forgives him, then informs him of the correct place he’s to meet up with Gloria.
After leaving his father’s house, Mitch arrives at the commercial shoot and an argument starts between he and Cam. When quiet on the set is called, they silently watch the first take. As it turns out, they were only interested in Lily because she’s Asian, and the commercial is extremely racist and offensive (the voiceovers were done by cheesy white people, and someone dressed up as Godzilla walked around, crashing into buildings). Cam’s opinions quickly change and he pulls Lily out of the commercial. Hmm, didn’t someone tell him not to do it in the first place?