It’s “Halloween!” This is the sixth episode of the season that aired on October 27, 2010. It drew in over 13 million viewers, the highest of the season thus far!
In the first scene, we learn that Halloween is Claire’s favorite holiday; she is busy playing jokes, decorating her house, and cooking for her haunted house later that night. While Phil is outside setting up some decorations, he talks to his neighbor, Gary, whose wife has just left him. This makes Phil worried that the same thing will happen to him. He later goes back to ask 1) if he is still going to be their scarecrow, and 2) the reasons his wife had for leaving him. Phil learns that it was a lack of sexuality and spontaneity, so he tries to be more sexual and spontaneous towards Claire in fear of losing her.
Mitch is also excited about Halloween because he gets to wear a (Spiderman)costume to work, unlike his previous job. Cam hates Halloween due to a traumatic experience in the past, which he tells us later. When Mitch drives into his parking space and soon discovers that the only other two people dressed up are a tool and a douche. He calls Cam freaking out, but Cam reminds him that his dry-cleaning is still in his trunk. He puts on a business suit over his Spiderman costume (which squeaks) and when he walks in to the building, he is immediately thrown into multiple meetings. When he finally gets the chance to take off the Spiderman costume in the bathroom, he accidentally drops his dress pants in the toilet water. He frantically tries to dry them off with the hand dryer, until the janitor walks in! Ah! Mitch hides in the stall, but the janitor takes his shirt that he left lying out and his pants are still wet. He calls Cam to gain courage to go out the window to get back to his car and get another suit. When he gets to his car, he can’t find his keys, bumps into his car and the neighboring car, making the alarms go off, and gets spotted by his boss in his Spiderman costume.
Meanwhile, Jay and Manny mistakenly help Gloria realize that people don’t always understand her. Then, when Jay opens a box of baby cheese-its, only to find a baby Jesus, Gloria gets flustered and storms off. She later tries to talk “proper English” and over-exaggerates it.
That night, at the haunted house, Claire asks Mitch to be the scarecrow. He tells her that he has had a horrible day in a costume, which brings up Cam’s mysterious, traumatic, Halloween experience. Claire asks him what happened; he tells the first part of his story (his friends had dropped a lot of candy), no one reacts, then trick-or-treaters ring the doorbell. Everything goes horribly. Jay misses his cues for thunder and lightning, Alex’s part is completely skipped over, Gloria, dressed as a witch, speaks “proper English” instead of witch-like, Haley cheesily delivers her lines, and Cam tells the remainder of his story (his friend blamed him for the candy on the ground, so the other kids chased him while he was dressed as Quasimodo). Claire gets upset that everything went wrong, goes outside, and Phil goes to comfort her. <Insert touching moment here>. She eventually cheers up when more trick-or-treaters go into her haunted house and everything runs smoothly. Mitch had even gotten back in a costume after his fiasco at work that day. Gloria had been cheered up by Jay’s story of a man, alone in a diner who fell in love with a beautiful woman who entered the diner without even hearing her voice.
The final tag scene is of the family poking fun at Gloria and saying the funny things she’s said to them. In Jay’s mock interview/voiceover he states that he used to handle explosives in the military for a short time. He explains that they were pretty safe, but not for a long period of time. Then Gloria explodes with, “OK, enough!” and storms off.
And because you’re probably ‘dying’ to see the pictures of the characters in costume, you’re welcome!